What ever happened to good old American ingenuity? It’s alive and well, in the world of boats. After all, we were the first folks to harness the wind, figure out how to navigate by the stars, and use a compass. And each and every time you leave the dock, there’s a pretty good chance something unexpected will happen. Will you be ready for it? You will – as long as you use a little creative thinking, and keep these weird fix-its in the back of your mind.
* LISTEN UP – You detect a strange noise in your outboard, but you can’t identify its exact source? You need a stethoscope… or at least, a screwdriver. Simply hold a screwdriver handle up to your ear, then place the tip of the screwdriver on the different parts of the engine. Vibrations will travel through your non-traditional listening device right to your ear drum, and isolating the strange sound will be easy.
* WAX ON - Zippers and snaps corrode, jam, and stick, and can become a major hassle. Boats with bimini tops and zip-out, snap-in clear plastic windows are especially problematic. But some inventive boater discovered that if you rub down the zippers and snaps with a regular candle, they will open and close much easier. Why not just use oil? Two reasons: if your zippers are plastic it can discolor them, and snaps tend to be over-lubricated by oil, and may not secure well after treatment. No such problems, with candle power.
* GREAT GOOP - Liquid electrical tape is sticky, gooey stuff that often makes a mess, but it also has a long list of useful—though somewhat weird—marine applications. Yeah sure, you can use it to seal electrical connections. But this stuff also is excellent for marking mooring lines. Just paint it on where your line meets the cleat, and you’ll never have to re-adjust your lines again. What’s that dripping on your head? A hole must have worn through your canvass T-top. No problem; just goop some liquid electrical tape up there. It’s thick enough to cover small holes, and it’ll stick to canvass for months on end. Ouch! You cut yourself while opening the can and there are no band-aids onboard? Liquid electrical tape will seal the wound, and when you get back to the dock it will peel off easily without ripping up hair and skin.
* HOSE HOAX – Your raw water intake has clogged with barnacles, or seaweed? Cut a length of hose that’s long enough to reach from the seacock to above the waterline, and swap it out for the hose that’s on the seacock. Now bend a wire coat hanger straight, and use it as a ramrod to clear out the clog. Close the seacock again, and replace the original hose.
* IRON MAIDEN – Yikes! There’s a ding in your beautiful teak! Don’t freak out, just wipe it with a wet rag to make the wood damp, then run a hot iron over it. Between the heat and the moisture, the wood will swell back into shape.
* THE HOLE STORY – Let’s say there’s a broken through hull fitting… or you hit a rock… or you accidentally discharged your magnum .44 through the bottom of your boat… for whatever reason, Mom’s Mink is taking on water. What will you reach for? A potato, of course. Potatoes have the perfect consistency to jam into a hole, get stuck there, and plug it even when under pressure. So the next time there’s a hole in your hole in the water, remember to fix it the weird way – by wedging in a chunk of raw potato.
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